The Next Chapter
My last day of freedom..... I start a new job tomorrow. I am sure the new few weeks will prove to be trying, exhausting, elating, and so many many other things. The ability to support my family, and continue to rebuild from employment is priceless. I am welcoming the challenges of the position, including working every Saturday for a while as I learn from the current buyer. This gives me Monday off, and a chance to do laundry and food shop. Or maybe hit the beach with the kids.
I am in awe of God's power and people he has placed in my life. He is go this in his hand, and it is up to me to hang on to his hand. He will not let me go. I need to keep my eyes up. Jesus paid it all, I never felt worthy of this, but how can I not be worthy. Is Jesus' blood not good enough for my sins. He was sinless.
I will give my heart. Wholeheartedly.
"He Paid It All" Brandon Heath
My Lord
What shall I give Him today
He wants my heart
More than He asks for my wage
One day I’ll die
But it won’t be my last day
When I look in His eyes
I’ll know that I did ok
My Lord
What shall I sing Him for now
A song full of praise
From a mouth full of doubt
I lift up my face
And I sing out loud
With all my mistakes
I still make Him proud
He paid it all for me
Carried that cross for you
On that rugged walk, He knew
What He had to do
Opened His arms up wide
Invited the world inside
One final breath
He conquered death
For me and for you
My Lord
Where would He want me to go
Just across town
Or a place where I don’t know a soul
Just tell me where
And I’ll hit the road
With no time to spare
And no heavy load
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
The Next Chapter - May 24, 2013
The Next Chapter
Today I enjoyed breakfast with my friend Chris, and in turn he took my resume, and texted me later that he sent out 50 copies of my resume. Wow 50 copies! Something has to give soon.....
When I returned from breakfast I got a call from the job in Canton, and after 8 interviews they are moving forward and checking my references..... I don't want to get too excited, but it is a good sign. It has been 2 months since the first interview.
I can always relate to Jesus Calling, today Jesus calls me to bring him my mind for rest and renewal. I am reminded of how many times I want to give up. I continue to walk in the light and not just talk the talk. I keep things in perspective and not get burdened with circumstances. God's will God's time. The Lord's prayer ... thy will be done. It just doesn't say when. Leave it in the hands of Jesus. I refuse to worry about something I am praying about. I spoke with unemployment today, and I might get some money next week. Hopefully that will hold me over until a job happens.
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
Today I enjoyed breakfast with my friend Chris, and in turn he took my resume, and texted me later that he sent out 50 copies of my resume. Wow 50 copies! Something has to give soon.....
When I returned from breakfast I got a call from the job in Canton, and after 8 interviews they are moving forward and checking my references..... I don't want to get too excited, but it is a good sign. It has been 2 months since the first interview.
I can always relate to Jesus Calling, today Jesus calls me to bring him my mind for rest and renewal. I am reminded of how many times I want to give up. I continue to walk in the light and not just talk the talk. I keep things in perspective and not get burdened with circumstances. God's will God's time. The Lord's prayer ... thy will be done. It just doesn't say when. Leave it in the hands of Jesus. I refuse to worry about something I am praying about. I spoke with unemployment today, and I might get some money next week. Hopefully that will hold me over until a job happens.
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
Psalm 89:15
Brandon Heath - Hands of the Healer
Hang it up like a coat
Tear it up like a note
Let the pieces fall to the ground
Like falling snow
Go for a walk outside
Watch as the red bird flies
He needs lifting
And we need lifting, too
If we’re gonna pray about it
There’s no use in worrying
If we’re gonna worry about it
Why are we praying
Just leave it in the hands of the Father
Leave it in the hands of the Healer
Leave it in the hands of Jesus
And walk away
Walk away
Take all your doubt and fear
Whisper it in His ear
Drop it in the mailbox
Raise the flag and let it go
We’re laying ‘em down to never carry again
We’re laying ‘em down, the burdens, burdens
Laying ‘em down to never worry again
Laying ‘em down, let ‘em fly on the wind
Hang it up like a coat
Tear it up like a note
Let the pieces fall to the ground
Like falling snow
Go for a walk outside
Watch as the red bird flies
He needs lifting
And we need lifting, too
If we’re gonna pray about it
There’s no use in worrying
If we’re gonna worry about it
Why are we praying
Just leave it in the hands of the Father
Leave it in the hands of the Healer
Leave it in the hands of Jesus
And walk away
Walk away
Take all your doubt and fear
Whisper it in His ear
Drop it in the mailbox
Raise the flag and let it go
We’re laying ‘em down to never carry again
We’re laying ‘em down, the burdens, burdens
Laying ‘em down to never worry again
Laying ‘em down, let ‘em fly on the wind
Monday, May 20, 2013
The Next Chapter - May 20, 2013
The Next Chapter
Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful One.....these lyrics are from Kutless "Even If". Today I sit and ponder, why Lord?
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7
I will continue to put myself out there, and serve. I read from several devotionals each day, and each day they all give me different messages, today more that one referred to walking in the light. Fellowship in each other. So many times I get caught up in myself. I start feeling self pity for my circumstances, and wonder if I will ever find a job, or when I find a job does that mean the end of being home for my kids. I am blessed to have the tremendous support of my friends, family, and my church family. Today, and every Monday I serve the homeless in my town. Brown bag lunches. We make sandwiches, and put with water, apple, and a granola bar. Then we go to the Salvation Army and distribute the lunches, along with other donated items for them. Starbucks donates coffee. Today we had 3 sleeping bags, and toiletries. I was even allowed access to the camp in the woods. Seeing first hand how they are living, and surviving on just a few things.
They were very grateful for the food, coffee, and items we delivered. I am continually reminded of how many blessing I have, and when I stop to count them I run out of fingers and toes. I will try even if surrounded by chaos and so many things out of my control (which by the way is EVERYTHING) I will give it to GOD. Let go and let GOD take control and allowing peace in the chaos to wash over me.
"Even If" ~ Kutless
Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn't come
Even if the healing doesn't come
Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful One.....these lyrics are from Kutless "Even If". Today I sit and ponder, why Lord?
Why can't I find a job? Why am I faced with co-parenting issues? How come I feel so ill equipped for life? Why do I feel like I have nothing to give? Why 1400 miles Lord?.....I started playing a playlist of songs I put together for a friend, and after reading from Jesus Calling ~ this song started to play...... I realized He is there. He is GOD, forever faithful. I will continue to put all my eggs in His basket.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7
I will continue to put myself out there, and serve. I read from several devotionals each day, and each day they all give me different messages, today more that one referred to walking in the light. Fellowship in each other. So many times I get caught up in myself. I start feeling self pity for my circumstances, and wonder if I will ever find a job, or when I find a job does that mean the end of being home for my kids. I am blessed to have the tremendous support of my friends, family, and my church family. Today, and every Monday I serve the homeless in my town. Brown bag lunches. We make sandwiches, and put with water, apple, and a granola bar. Then we go to the Salvation Army and distribute the lunches, along with other donated items for them. Starbucks donates coffee. Today we had 3 sleeping bags, and toiletries. I was even allowed access to the camp in the woods. Seeing first hand how they are living, and surviving on just a few things.
They were very grateful for the food, coffee, and items we delivered. I am continually reminded of how many blessing I have, and when I stop to count them I run out of fingers and toes. I will try even if surrounded by chaos and so many things out of my control (which by the way is EVERYTHING) I will give it to GOD. Let go and let GOD take control and allowing peace in the chaos to wash over me.
"Even If" ~ Kutless
Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise
Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come
You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn't come
Even if the healing doesn't come
Saturday, May 18, 2013
The Next Chapter - May 18, 2013
The Next Chapter - GOD WORKS
Hi - it has been quite awhile. So much has happened and so much is yet to come.
My last post was Feb 1 ...during that time I was struggling with Merry her attitude and outbursts, I was concerned with her safety and the safety of others. Then I found a book, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy, by Chip Ingram. I started to read this book, and realized something so overwhelming it was scary. Merry's issues while her behavior and reactions to situations need work, the anger and the feelings behind the anger are real.... however I am responsible for teaching Merry these behaviors. When I took a closer look at myself using this book as the vehicle for information, I realized I myself had outbursts and attitude!! The apple does not fall far from the tree.. I started immediately to focus on myself rather than Merry. Working on my shortcomings, and I am reporting now April 10, 2013 the working progress in us. She and I are a work in process. I am learning how to listen, and how to respond without tone, and without sarcasm. Sarcasm is a pet peeve, and I do not care for this type of "humor" but here I was using on my kids. I was so disappointed to look in the mirror and see the real me. I am reminded of the Michael Jackson song. "Man in the Mirror".
It is now May 18, 2013 Life is totally has flipped. I am out of work again, and staying in my friends house (empty house - and for sale - timetable yet to be determined) While I can report Merry and I are still working on us, we are also seeking outside help. We have stepped up counseling appointments and we are going to get tested for mood disorders. She just turned 11 Wednesday and I need to be clear if her mood swings are hormonal or chemical. I cannot determine this on my own, so I am seeking a professional opinion. I am trying not to get ahead of where I am, and where God is meeting me. And trying not to worry about where God wants me to be. I am working on completing college and I am taking 3 classes this summer. I had to get a new notebook (the hand-me-down net book from Jamie finally died) I have about 12 classes to completing my bachelors degree. My current class started this week, and my book is late :( which means I am late with one of my first assignments. I hate starting out behind the pack. I don't doubt I will catch up, but last semester I managed a C in my class because I missed 3 assignments. (due to moving, and lack of internet, then the net book died, all legitimate reasons for missed assignments, however professors in college do not care. Thankfully I got an A- on my final paper to squeak out a C.)
I am learning so much about myself, and what makes me tick. I am determined not to settle on what I think is right for me, knowing the any plan God has for me is beyond my small mind. I will never fully experience everything God has planned for me because I am limited on earth. I will continue to seek his counsel and listen for his guidance. And even though I am broken and a work in process and a sinner, he loves me anyway. I stride to be grateful for the gift of grace, even though I do not feel worthy of this gift.
I just passed 9 months sober, and this is truly a gift from God. The clarity for his plan for me becomes more evident each and every day. I try to stay in the moment and work in the present, I will try to be still and know he is God. He has got my back...... My needs will and have been met. We have food, we have shelter, we have tremendous support. I am so humbled by his love, and I will continue to stride to feel worthy of it.
Revelation 22:17 Let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.
Hi - it has been quite awhile. So much has happened and so much is yet to come.
My last post was Feb 1 ...during that time I was struggling with Merry her attitude and outbursts, I was concerned with her safety and the safety of others. Then I found a book, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy, by Chip Ingram. I started to read this book, and realized something so overwhelming it was scary. Merry's issues while her behavior and reactions to situations need work, the anger and the feelings behind the anger are real.... however I am responsible for teaching Merry these behaviors. When I took a closer look at myself using this book as the vehicle for information, I realized I myself had outbursts and attitude!! The apple does not fall far from the tree.. I started immediately to focus on myself rather than Merry. Working on my shortcomings, and I am reporting now April 10, 2013 the working progress in us. She and I are a work in process. I am learning how to listen, and how to respond without tone, and without sarcasm. Sarcasm is a pet peeve, and I do not care for this type of "humor" but here I was using on my kids. I was so disappointed to look in the mirror and see the real me. I am reminded of the Michael Jackson song. "Man in the Mirror".
It is now May 18, 2013 Life is totally has flipped. I am out of work again, and staying in my friends house (empty house - and for sale - timetable yet to be determined) While I can report Merry and I are still working on us, we are also seeking outside help. We have stepped up counseling appointments and we are going to get tested for mood disorders. She just turned 11 Wednesday and I need to be clear if her mood swings are hormonal or chemical. I cannot determine this on my own, so I am seeking a professional opinion. I am trying not to get ahead of where I am, and where God is meeting me. And trying not to worry about where God wants me to be. I am working on completing college and I am taking 3 classes this summer. I had to get a new notebook (the hand-me-down net book from Jamie finally died) I have about 12 classes to completing my bachelors degree. My current class started this week, and my book is late :( which means I am late with one of my first assignments. I hate starting out behind the pack. I don't doubt I will catch up, but last semester I managed a C in my class because I missed 3 assignments. (due to moving, and lack of internet, then the net book died, all legitimate reasons for missed assignments, however professors in college do not care. Thankfully I got an A- on my final paper to squeak out a C.)
I am learning so much about myself, and what makes me tick. I am determined not to settle on what I think is right for me, knowing the any plan God has for me is beyond my small mind. I will never fully experience everything God has planned for me because I am limited on earth. I will continue to seek his counsel and listen for his guidance. And even though I am broken and a work in process and a sinner, he loves me anyway. I stride to be grateful for the gift of grace, even though I do not feel worthy of this gift.
I just passed 9 months sober, and this is truly a gift from God. The clarity for his plan for me becomes more evident each and every day. I try to stay in the moment and work in the present, I will try to be still and know he is God. He has got my back...... My needs will and have been met. We have food, we have shelter, we have tremendous support. I am so humbled by his love, and I will continue to stride to feel worthy of it.
Revelation 22:17 Let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.
Romans 12:8 Who gives, let him do it with liberality.
I find myself drinking and giving liberality! I can't not share what God has done and the plans he has for me.
I post lyrics to Christian music all the time, today however I cannot decide on a song. I am listening to KLOVE and every single song is touching my heart today. I will learn to say I Love You more often.
Dear God, Help me to look for the many ways you touch me with your love and care everyday, help me see others in need, and provide the your words....even when I don't know what to say. Amen
Friday, February 1, 2013
The Next Chapter ~ February 1, 2013
The Next Chapter
February my favorite month. It started on my knees asking God for patience, tolerance, and acceptance of myself and others. And that was granted, breakfast and bus when off without a hitch :-) Next off to get an oil change, and then a day with my BFF. Cleaning and hanging, then a shopping trip to BJ's Wholesale. Jamie and I discussed my recent struggles with Merry and drew up a plan for the next time. How to get safe, who to call, and a list of the numbers. God truly gave me Jamie to help me through this crisis. Back home for the bus, and again this morning's prayer is carrying me through, off the bus without issues, and off to karate. Jack and I got to hang out while Merry was at karate. Home for dinner and a movie.... Wizard of Oz. Their pick. I love that my kids love the classics. Can't wait for Merry and I to watch My Fair Lady or Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Talking to and surrounding myself with Christians during these past weeks has made it bearable. Thank you Lord for your foresight and choosing who you have placed in and on my path.
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
This time your heart said its had enough
Sick and tired of everything that's so messed up
You don't wanna move on just playing games
Praying hard somehow your life will change
When you feel like you don't know what to do
Stuck inside this maze you can't go through
(chorus)
Don't give up
and help is surely on its way
and don't give up
and the dark is breaking in today
and just keep on moving through these storms
and soon enough you'll find the door
just don't give up
oh and don't give up
These walls around you are caving in
And your life seems like it is wearing thin
Your hope is drowning in despair
It looks like you're not going anywhere
Step inside this Heart and then you'll see
Such a love that is so amazing
(Chorus)
February my favorite month. It started on my knees asking God for patience, tolerance, and acceptance of myself and others. And that was granted, breakfast and bus when off without a hitch :-) Next off to get an oil change, and then a day with my BFF. Cleaning and hanging, then a shopping trip to BJ's Wholesale. Jamie and I discussed my recent struggles with Merry and drew up a plan for the next time. How to get safe, who to call, and a list of the numbers. God truly gave me Jamie to help me through this crisis. Back home for the bus, and again this morning's prayer is carrying me through, off the bus without issues, and off to karate. Jack and I got to hang out while Merry was at karate. Home for dinner and a movie.... Wizard of Oz. Their pick. I love that my kids love the classics. Can't wait for Merry and I to watch My Fair Lady or Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Talking to and surrounding myself with Christians during these past weeks has made it bearable. Thank you Lord for your foresight and choosing who you have placed in and on my path.
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
I love to think of myself as a masterpiece, and I am worthy. I will never allow myself to forget it or settle for less. When we all remember there are no mistakes or no coincidences.... I won't give up on myself or my future or my kids future.
Calling Glory - Don't Give Up
This time your heart said its had enough
Sick and tired of everything that's so messed up
You don't wanna move on just playing games
Praying hard somehow your life will change
When you feel like you don't know what to do
Stuck inside this maze you can't go through
(chorus)
Don't give up
and help is surely on its way
and don't give up
and the dark is breaking in today
and just keep on moving through these storms
and soon enough you'll find the door
just don't give up
oh and don't give up
These walls around you are caving in
And your life seems like it is wearing thin
Your hope is drowning in despair
It looks like you're not going anywhere
Step inside this Heart and then you'll see
Such a love that is so amazing
(Chorus)
Thursday, January 31, 2013
The Next Chapter - January 31, 2013
The Next Chapter.
Up early today.... God gave me the opportunity to share his word and encourage others. Jesus calling talks of Jesus being the strength and the shield. It reminded me to put on the armor of God, and no sooner did I consciously put it on........ Merry didn't want to go to morning program, she screamed, yelled and said very mean words to me and Jack. I did not want Jack to be late so I left her home while I drove Jack. I got a text message moments later asking me to come back for her.....to late. She still was not ready when I returned, but keeping calm I told her the bus was coming, and she needed to be on it. She was. Calm and collected. Amen.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. ~ Psalm 28:7
"Carry Me To The Cross" - Kutless
When the path is daunting
And every step exhausting
I'm not alone
I'm not alone, no, no
I feel you draw me closer
All these burdens on my shoulder
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
You pull me me from this place
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
How your love has moved me, yeah
To the foot of all your glory
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
I'm not alone
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
All of these cities you have built
And every cathedral you have filled
To all of creation you gave life with your hands
And with those hands you comfort me
You lift me up from my knees
And carry me
You carry me
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
The cross
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
Up early today.... God gave me the opportunity to share his word and encourage others. Jesus calling talks of Jesus being the strength and the shield. It reminded me to put on the armor of God, and no sooner did I consciously put it on........ Merry didn't want to go to morning program, she screamed, yelled and said very mean words to me and Jack. I did not want Jack to be late so I left her home while I drove Jack. I got a text message moments later asking me to come back for her.....to late. She still was not ready when I returned, but keeping calm I told her the bus was coming, and she needed to be on it. She was. Calm and collected. Amen.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. ~ Psalm 28:7
"Carry Me To The Cross" - Kutless
When the path is daunting
And every step exhausting
I'm not alone
I'm not alone, no, no
I feel you draw me closer
All these burdens on my shoulder
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
You pull me me from this place
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
How your love has moved me, yeah
To the foot of all your glory
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
I'm not alone
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
All of these cities you have built
And every cathedral you have filled
To all of creation you gave life with your hands
And with those hands you comfort me
You lift me up from my knees
And carry me
You carry me
Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
The cross
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Next Chapter - January 29, 2013
The Next Chapter ~
Oh Lord, help me.... I am tying a knot and hanging on for dear life..... Merry is out of control, and I am going to lose my mind. Tonight after a great after school time, I thought it would be fun to have ice cream for dinner. Merry gets a tummy ache from ice cream so I gave her a lactaid pill. Everything is going great, until a Friendly employee came over to make Merry and Jack balloon animals. Merry asked for an elephant, and he made her and elephant. Jack asked for an octopus and he made him an octopus... both were great and free! That is when the smiles turned to envy and jealousy. Merry felt Jack's octopus was better and bigger than her elephant, and she copped an attitude with a capitol A. I noticed an tried to make light of it, and she was off and running, screaming at me in the parking lot "freakin swearing" to the point that it was unsafe while I was driving, at a red light she actually tried to rip the phone from my ear. I am so utterly disappointed with my daughter, and I fear for Jack and he retaliation. I cannot even look at her. I tried to stay as calm as possible, but she is so very talented at pushing my buttons. I gave her an anti-anxiety pill, and put her to bed. I am hoping she falls asleep.
So now here I am an hour later, and she is calm. And lying in bed. I am processing and praying for solutions. I know she is processing and trying to figure out her triggers. I am at a loss when she feels this way, and come to find out she has a math test this week, and a girl at school has been being mean.... these are all really good reasons for anxiety, but no matter why, the behavior is unacceptable and requires consequences. I am praying for guidance, and intervention from the holy spirit.
Wow, I am definitely not up for mother of the year. I did hold my tongue and my temper, and I hugged and prayed with her.
“The Lord is my strength and my defense, he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him,
my father’s God, and I will exalt him. ~ Exodus 15:2
Blessed Assurance - Third Day Live Version.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
Oh Lord, help me.... I am tying a knot and hanging on for dear life..... Merry is out of control, and I am going to lose my mind. Tonight after a great after school time, I thought it would be fun to have ice cream for dinner. Merry gets a tummy ache from ice cream so I gave her a lactaid pill. Everything is going great, until a Friendly employee came over to make Merry and Jack balloon animals. Merry asked for an elephant, and he made her and elephant. Jack asked for an octopus and he made him an octopus... both were great and free! That is when the smiles turned to envy and jealousy. Merry felt Jack's octopus was better and bigger than her elephant, and she copped an attitude with a capitol A. I noticed an tried to make light of it, and she was off and running, screaming at me in the parking lot "freakin swearing" to the point that it was unsafe while I was driving, at a red light she actually tried to rip the phone from my ear. I am so utterly disappointed with my daughter, and I fear for Jack and he retaliation. I cannot even look at her. I tried to stay as calm as possible, but she is so very talented at pushing my buttons. I gave her an anti-anxiety pill, and put her to bed. I am hoping she falls asleep.
So now here I am an hour later, and she is calm. And lying in bed. I am processing and praying for solutions. I know she is processing and trying to figure out her triggers. I am at a loss when she feels this way, and come to find out she has a math test this week, and a girl at school has been being mean.... these are all really good reasons for anxiety, but no matter why, the behavior is unacceptable and requires consequences. I am praying for guidance, and intervention from the holy spirit.
Wow, I am definitely not up for mother of the year. I did hold my tongue and my temper, and I hugged and prayed with her.
my father’s God, and I will exalt him. ~ Exodus 15:2
Blessed Assurance - Third Day Live Version.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
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