Friday, May 24, 2013

The Next Chapter - May 24, 2013

The Next Chapter

Today I enjoyed breakfast with my friend Chris, and in turn he took my resume, and texted me later that he sent out 50 copies of my resume.  Wow 50 copies!  Something has to give soon.....

When I returned from breakfast I got a call from the job in Canton, and after 8 interviews they are moving forward and checking my references..... I don't want to get too excited, but it is a good sign.  It has been 2 months since the first interview.

I can always relate to Jesus Calling, today Jesus calls me to bring him my mind for rest and renewal.  I am reminded of how many times I want to give up.  I continue to walk in the light and not just talk the talk.  I keep things in perspective and not get burdened with circumstances.  God's will God's time.  The Lord's prayer ... thy will be done.  It just doesn't say when.  Leave it in the hands of Jesus.  I refuse to worry about something I am praying about.  I spoke with unemployment today, and I might get some money next week.  Hopefully that will hold me over until a job happens.

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
Psalm 89:15

Brandon Heath - Hands of the Healer

Hang it up like a coat
Tear it up like a note
Let the pieces fall to the ground
Like falling snow
Go for a walk outside
Watch as the red bird flies
He needs lifting
And we need lifting, too

If we’re gonna pray about it
There’s no use in worrying
If we’re gonna worry about it
Why are we praying
Just leave it in the hands of the Father
Leave it in the hands of the Healer
Leave it in the hands of Jesus
And walk away
Walk away


Take all your doubt and fear
Whisper it in His ear
Drop it in the mailbox
Raise the flag and let it go

We’re laying ‘em down to never carry again
We’re laying ‘em down, the burdens, burdens
Laying ‘em down to never worry again
Laying ‘em down, let ‘em fly on the wind





Monday, May 20, 2013

The Next Chapter - May 20, 2013

The Next Chapter

Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful One.....these lyrics are from Kutless "Even If".  Today I sit and ponder, why Lord?
Why can't I find a job? Why am I faced with co-parenting issues? How come I feel so ill equipped for life?   Why do I feel like I have nothing to give? Why 1400 miles Lord?.....I started playing a playlist of songs I put together for a friend, and after reading from Jesus Calling ~ this song started to play......  I realized He is there. He is GOD, forever faithful.  I will continue to put all my eggs in His basket.  

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.  1 John 1:7

I will continue to put myself out there, and serve.  I read from several devotionals each day, and each day they all give me different messages, today more that one referred to walking in the light.  Fellowship in each other.  So many times I get caught up in myself.  I start feeling self pity for my circumstances, and wonder if I will ever find a job, or when I find a job does that mean the end of being home for my kids.  I am blessed to have the tremendous support of my friends, family, and my church family.  Today, and every Monday I serve  the homeless in my town.  Brown bag lunches.  We make sandwiches, and put with water, apple, and a granola bar.  Then we go to the Salvation Army and distribute the lunches, along with other donated items for them.  Starbucks donates coffee.  Today we had 3 sleeping bags, and toiletries.  I was even allowed access to the camp in the woods.  Seeing first hand how they are living, and surviving on just a few things.
They were very grateful for the food, coffee, and items we delivered.  I am continually reminded of how many blessing I have, and when I stop to count them I run out of fingers and toes.  I will try even if surrounded by chaos and so many things out of my control (which by the way is EVERYTHING) I will give it to GOD.  Let go and let GOD take control and allowing peace in the chaos to wash over me.


"Even If" ~ Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come

You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come

You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn't come
Even if the healing doesn't come

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Next Chapter - May 18, 2013

The Next Chapter - GOD WORKS

Hi - it has been quite awhile.  So much has happened and so much is yet to come.

My last post was Feb 1 ...during that time I was struggling with Merry her attitude and outbursts, I was concerned with her safety and the safety of others.  Then I found a book, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy, by Chip Ingram.  I started to read this book, and realized something so overwhelming it was scary. Merry's issues while her behavior and reactions to situations need work, the anger and the feelings behind the anger are real.... however I am responsible for teaching Merry these behaviors.   When I took a closer look at myself using this book as the vehicle for information, I realized I myself had outbursts and attitude!!  The apple does not fall far from the tree..   I started immediately to focus on myself rather than Merry.  Working on my shortcomings, and I am reporting now April 10, 2013 the working progress in us.  She and I are a work in process.  I am learning how to listen, and how to respond without tone, and without sarcasm.  Sarcasm is a pet peeve, and I do not care for this type of "humor" but here I was using on my kids.  I was so disappointed to look in the mirror and see the real me.   I am reminded of the Michael Jackson song. "Man in the Mirror".

It is now May 18, 2013  Life is totally has flipped.  I am out of work again, and staying in my friends house (empty house - and for sale - timetable yet to be determined) While I can report Merry and I are still working on us, we are also seeking outside help.  We have stepped up counseling appointments and we are going to get tested for mood disorders.  She just turned 11 Wednesday and I need to be clear if her mood swings are hormonal or chemical.  I cannot determine this on my own, so I am seeking a professional opinion.  I am trying not to get ahead of where I am, and where God is meeting me. And trying not to worry about where God wants me to be.  I am working on completing college and I am taking 3 classes this summer.  I had to get a new notebook (the hand-me-down net book from Jamie finally died) I have about 12 classes to completing my bachelors degree.  My current class started this week, and my book is late :(  which means I am late with one of my first assignments. I hate starting out behind the pack.  I don't doubt I will catch up, but last semester I managed a C in my class because I missed 3 assignments. (due to moving, and lack of internet, then the net book died, all legitimate reasons for missed assignments, however professors in college do not care.  Thankfully I got an A- on my final paper to squeak out a C.)

I am learning so much about myself, and what makes me tick.  I am determined not to settle on what I think is right for me, knowing the any plan God has for me is beyond my small mind.  I will never fully experience everything God has planned for me because I am limited on earth.  I will continue to seek his counsel and listen for his guidance.  And even though I am broken and a work in process and a sinner, he loves me anyway.  I stride to be grateful for the gift of grace, even though I do not feel worthy of this gift.

I just passed 9 months sober, and this is truly a gift from God.  The clarity for his plan for me becomes more evident each and every day.  I try to stay in the moment and work in the present, I will try to be still and know he is God. He has got my back......  My needs will and have been met.  We have food, we have shelter, we have tremendous support.  I am so humbled by his love, and I will continue to stride to feel worthy of it.

Revelation 22:17 Let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

Romans 12:8  Who gives, let him do it with liberality.

I find myself drinking and giving liberality!  I can't not share what God has done and the plans he has for me.

I post lyrics to Christian music all the time, today however I cannot decide on a song.  I am listening to KLOVE and every single song is touching my heart today.  I will learn to say I Love You more often.  

Dear God, Help me to look for the many ways you touch me with your love and care everyday, help me see others in need, and provide the your words....even when I don't know what to say.  Amen