The Next Chapter - November 30, 2012

The Next Chapter

Gratitude. Thankfulness. Humbled.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:6-7

After a difficult day yesterday, with a renew spirit and a determined heart I put it behind me, and humbled myself before my God, and my children asking for forgiveness and understanding for my shortcomings.  I believe I am teachable and I will get better at this.  I am so looking forward to this Christmas season, not because I have grand plans or the extra money for the greatest gifts, but because this year more than any other year I truly have Jesus in my heart, and when I random Christmas song can move me to tears..... I know I am looking for to celebrating the birth of our savior. ~ I was going to try to wait until December to post Christmas lyrics but this one hit me tonight........

"I Need A Silent Night"


I've made the same mistake before
Too many malls, too many stores
December traffic, Christmas rush
It breaks me till I push and shove

Children are crying while mothers are trying
To photograph Santa and sleigh
The shopping and buying and standing forever in line
What can I say?

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

December comes then disappears
Faster and faster every year
Did my own mother keep this pace
Or was the world a different place?

Where people stayed home wishing for snow
Watching three channels on their TV
Look at us now rushing around
Trying to buy Christmas peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

What was it like back there in Bethlehem
With peace on earth, good will toward men?

Every shepherd's out in the field
Keeping watch over their clock by night
And the glory of the Lord shone around them
And they were so afraid

And the angels said fear not for behold
I bring you good news of a great joy that shall be for all people
For unto you is born this day a Savior, who is Christ the Lord
And his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night
To end this crazy day with a silent night

GNGB~

The Next Chapter - November 29, 2012

The Next Chapter

Wow it has been awhile, life has gotten way to busy.  So to catch up.....Another contract extension(4 weeks), however a different department(Supply Chain),  Happy Thanksgiving! And Merry Christmas season.....  During the next month as we get busier and busier lets pause and remember the reason for the season, and be grateful and thankful in all circumstances.
The kids and I traveled to my sister, Beth's in St Louis MO with Dad & Rita.  It truly was a blessing, my kids and her kids really enjoyed each other, and we hope to plan a summer trip! (thanks to Beth and Brian for hosting). Which seems like a lifetime ago already.

So I started writing this a few days ago, and got caught up with school stuff (mid-term exam). 
So I am back again, and here to admit I am ready to be committed to a mental ward.
This morning I am completely ashamed of my parenting skills, or lack of skills.  The day started so well, on my knees (Jack came in while I was praying and asked to join me~too cute).  But how, why, and when it took a turn for the worst I don't know, maybe it was the nit picking Merry and Jack started as soon as Merry woke, or maybe it was the fact they still had homework to do from the night before (which they told me was done!) or better still, maybe it was the actual phyiscal fighting while I was in the shower or maybe Jack spilling water all over the table getting Merry's homework wet or maple syrup getting on Merry's homework.....  could be any of all of these reasons!  Needless to say I lost it!  I completely lost my head.....  Shouting, yelling, knocking over a chair, throwing the plastic cup with the unspilled water into the sink!! They stood watching 1/2 expecting my head to spin around and vomiting pea soup!  I don't know what came over me.......my lack of composure and my behavior is frightening!  We all ended up crying....  I drove Jack to school, and apologized for my outburst, and asked his forgiveness.  I called Merry on the way back, and said sorry, and then waited with her for the bus, I got a kiss goodbye.  So all is well..... However the damage is done, and I cannot undo this.  I need to find the tools to manage this better!  I am praying for guidance, and forgiveness today.  I am trying to get over this and not hating myself for it.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! ~ Isaiah 30:18 

I must stop trying to control all of these situations, and continually pray and give the to God, he will show me the way, guiding with his loving hand and heart.  Sending me the holy spirit when I struggle.  Put people in my path who can help us!  I must post this song today ~~ December will be filled with Christmas music only :)

"Redeemed"- Big Daddy Weave

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

The Next Chapter - Novermber 9, 2012

The Next Chapter

   

Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together -John 4:35-36

We reap what we sow, when we sow good deeds, and thoughts and prayers throughout each day we a blessed with a harvest.  I think of what does this really mean to me today?  I am waiting for an opportunity for a job.  So I sow the seeds.  I look under every rock, and follow every lead for a job.  Today I looked through my book of business cards from former contacts in my various jobs, and sent out my resume.  Looking under every rock, following every lead.  Some of these doors closed immediately but who know where it may lead me.  Only God knows, and he will reveal my harvest when it is ripe for harvest.    I will pray.  And request others to pray..... I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. ~ Romans 15:30


Calling Glory - Don't Give Up

This time your heart said its had enough
Sick and tired of everything that's so messed up
You don't wanna move on just playing games
Praying hard somehow your life will change
When you feel like you don't know what to do
Stuck inside this maze you can't go through

(chorus)
Don't give up
and help is surely on its way
and don't give up
and the dark is breaking in today
and just keep on moving through these storms
and soon enough you'll find the door
just don't give up
oh and don't give up

These walls around you are caving in
And your life seems like it is wearing thin
Your hope is drowning in despair
It looks like you're not going anywhere
Step inside this Heart and then you'll see
Such a love that is so amazing
(Chorus)

The Next Chapter - November 8,2012

The Next Chapter

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

How can we not try and please people? I found out today I am not getting the job I interviewed for at Partylite. Budgetary constraints..... I found myself on my knees more than once today, I am surrendering I cannot try and seek to please co-workers bosses potential bosses....Only God.. I put it in Gods hands in Gods time.



THIRD DAY - I Need A Miracle lyrics


Well, late one night, she started to cry and thought he ain’t coming home
She was tired of the lies, tired of the fight, but she didn’t want to see him go
She fell on her knees and said, “I haven’t prayed since I was young
But Lord above I need a miracle”
Well no matter who you are and no matter what you’ve done
There will come a time when you can’t make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle
He lost his job and all he had in the fall of ’09
Now he feared the worst, that he would lose his children and his wife
So he drove down deep into the woods and thought he’d end it all
And prayed, “Lord above, I need a miracle”
Well no matter who you are and no matter what you’ve done
There will come a time when you can’t make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
He turned on the radio to hear a song for the last time
He didn’t know what he was looking for even what he’d find
The song he heard gave him hope and strength to carry on
And on that night, they found a miracle
They found a miracle
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
In your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle

Tired of the fight

The Next Chapter - November 7, 2012

The Next Chapter

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  ~Romans 12:2

Now What? This morning I am sitting in my office(in my temporary job) I am listening to the aftermath of the election, and I realized change starts with me, in my home.  Romney said it best when he said he and Anne would earnestly pray for the leadership of this county.  I cannot think of anything worth investing my time into. Prayer is always worth your time. 
Upon waking this morning,  I slide out of bed and onto my knees.  I humbled myself before the Lord and asked for guidance in my day.  A peace I cannot describe lives in my prayers, and this peace is shattered when I try to conform to this world, and do/act as others do.  I need to continue to start and end my day with my God, and my brother Jesus. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
 
This song I think of my kids, and how am I guiding them, at the conference I vowed to take 15 minutes with them each day, in prayer and story time.  Sunday done, Monday done, Tuesday done, but not until I realized I was letting it slip away by focusing my time on the election and I left them to themselves, until they started fighting in the bathroom while getting ready for bed.  I yelled, and then realized this was because of my lack of attention.  I regained myself and read a devotion having each one read the verse that coincides with it and prayed the Lord's Prayer, and tucked them in.....  It takes 3 weeks to create a new habit.  What are you going to change today?

"Lead Me"- Santus Reel

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

The Next Chapter - November 5, 2012

The Next Chapter

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. ~ Psalm 138:8

Steadfast love......  Endures forever....  Sometimes we all feel down, and while today it is not me, I still managed to yell at my kids for just being kids.  Yesterday I felt like "I got this I can do this" I can change this part of me I do not like, and be a better Mom.  And it was going great, even better than expected.  But kids will be kids, and they need to test the "new" you and see what your breaking point is.  And when you ask for quiet to get your homework done, it definitively means start a ruckus and fight with each other.

Now I blame myself for trying to do homework before bedtime.  Which I promptly corrected with a book and prayer time with them, and without another word I have 2 sleeping kids.  And my homework is done..... Amen to that!

"Christ Is Risen" - Matt Maher

Let no one caught in sin remain*
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely you bled, for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bow to none but heavens will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold you down
In strength you reign
Forever let your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
Our God is not dead, he's alive! he's alive!

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Rise up from the grave...

The Next Chapter ~ November 4, 2012

The Next Chapter

I don't usually quote anything but the bible.  I think about the living word everyday, and I see many examples of living and loving Gods people.  I was moved today to share my road to recovery.  I received my 90 day chip yesterday, and I honestly felt like I was receiving an academy award.  The group I went to one time before happened to be the group God chose for me to attend last night. I walked in and the chairperson of the first meeting I attended there, remembered my name, and the speaker was an interesting lady with 37 years in recovery. I am on a God high, considering I just returned from a Christian leadership conference with 160 woman, then on to 2 days with Beth Moore (worship lead by Travis Cottell) and it was AMAZING. 4000 women !! I rocked my soul.  10 people came to accept Jesus including 2 event workers, I watched the security guard as she was surrounded by open arms with tears in my eyes.  I was so moved to see the spirit work.   I am on a journey of hope and love.  At the conference I realized my sobriety and my mission start at home each morning on my knees, and I am one person, and today I asked for patience and guidance.  So many people don't understand being a Christian, or being in AA.  Some see it as a cult or something they cannot explain, but to witness 4000 women singing praise to God, and accepting his hand in their lives wholeheartedly..... it is life changing.  Acts 16:25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.  Who is listening to you? 

"Jesus In Disguise" - Brandon Heath

Ever get something in your head?
It's nothing you heard
Or something you read

Ever had a cut but you never saw a blade?
Brought to your knees
But you never prayed

Jesus in disguise
Jehovah passing by
The burden of a tear
Hanging in your eye

Jesus in disguise
A scar across the sky
You were looking for a king
You would never recognize

Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise

Ever feel like you been somewhere before?
You hold the key
You know which door

Speak the word your lips have never known
Because your heart
Told you so

Jesus in disguise
Jehovah passing by
The burden of a tear
Hanging in your eye

Jesus in disguise
A scar across the sky
You were looking for a king
You would never recognize

Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise

[Bridge]
So open my eyes wide as I can
Blind as I am
Blind as I am

So open my eyes wide as I can
Blind as I am
Blind as I am

Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise
Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise
Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise
(So open my eyes wide as I can
Blind as I am
Blind as I am)
Jesus in disgu-ah-hah-aah-ah-haa-ise
(So open my eyes wide as I can
Blind as I am
Blind as I am)